Stranger!

Here I am in my home country feeling like I am a stranger. I belong to this place where my life existed first but I don't feel that I fit well in it. unfortunately it takes a lot off my energy to fit and be happy. sometimes i feel like leaving and run away! but it is not a solution! it's just a temporary escape! and i will have to come back!!
thinking about it deeply, I realised that it is not the place to blame nor the people. I don't have to blame no one; because I am the one who is changing! I am growing and I see things differently. it is hurting me because my realisation creates a bridge a conflict that separates me from my original society and my family.
By the day my instinct convinces me even more that this is no ones fault it is my own problem which I have to figure out ways of dealing with it and sort it by myself.
I see myself different and I feel lonely and it is so hard for me to fit in as I used to. sometimes I ask myself whom am I? what do I want in life? and where do I want to be? and I end up with one answer..... Live your day and let everything come into place in it's own time!!
BUT till when am i going to just follow what comes next? and when can I make proper future plans?
I DON'T see it happening!! I am already convinced now that I am whom I should be. a girl who exists to be herself and live the day as it comes! And stay happy!.